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Scalextric vs Subbuteo

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  • Scalextric vs Subbuteo

    This is perhaps a historical cultural reference perhaps more appropriate to forum members from across the big water, but I thought it appropriate to post here.

    I came across Subbuteo looking for HO/OO slot car track figures.

    Growing up on the dusty plains of North Texas, I had never knew such a board game existed until I turned 70. Looking around the internet I found this treatise.

    "...Scalextric was the best toy ever. Even though your mum (and girls in general) pronounced it Scalextrix and kept stepping on the track. Heres why:

    Exciting thrills! You could spin your car off at hairpin bends, sending it hurtling into the (imaginary) crowd of orphans on their big day out, and live to tell the tale! And you could have real races, with overtaking and pit stops and chicane chicanery!

    Sensory overload! The smell of the overheating throttle in your sweaty hand. The acrid stink of a burnt-out motor. The fireworks of sparks as the brushes crossed. The powerful whine of tiny electric motors as your car shot over the joins in the track. The feel of the track sections sort of tarmaccy, never quite consistent as you snapped them together. The taste of the the actually Scalextric didnt taste too great.

    Total flexibility! Bored with that oval with a lump in it? Dismantle and reassemble in a thrilling figure-of-eight! Get your mate to bring his set round and spend most of the day creating a track that spread to every corner of the front room, snaking under furniture! Cushions for hills!

    Upgradeable! The best way to spend your pocket money! New, more powerful cars! Hump-back bridges! Curve extensions for drifting on outside lanes! Hay bales!

    Scalextric, almost alone amongst toys, had the capability of keeping you occupied for an entire afternoon. If you were rich, you could have night racing with real lights, like my pal Steve. It was colourful and exciting and fun and exciting. Above all, though, it was exciting. You really felt you were in that car as it sped around the track.

    Meanwhile, Subbuteo

    I never got into Subbuteo. I tried, buying a team because I liked their shirts and being vilified by the Subbuteo Community because they were a third division bunch. Very appropriate, as I discovered, for my third division flicking skills. Really, Prodthough flicking? The tiny footballers were stuck to a (relatively) huge hemispherical base. So much for realism. And you flicked them at the ball, which was (relatively) the size of a small family car. The goalie was on a stick that you moved through the back of the net, I think. The whole thing was dull and listless and about as exciting as stamp collecting.

    In a recent survey, it was found that boys who played Scalextrix went on to be:

    Porn stars
    F1 drivers
    Rock stars
    First division footballers

    While boys who preferred Subbuteo grew up to be:

    Yewtree implicated
    Prime Ministers
    Eighties pop acts

    I think this lends some authority to my argument that Subbuteo players were a bunch of nerdy, malodorous wretches, and that Scalextric players were brave, dashing, noble individualists. Which were you?..."

    So compared to Subbuteo, slot racing is apparently indeed a manly man's hobby/sport.

    So...proudly display that "Slot Racing is for Real (0ld) Men" card/bumper sticker.😁

  • #2
    I've done both with no residual aftereffects though I did graduate from toys (Scalextric/Carrera) to Slot Its, NSR, Thunderslots and the like ages ago. And bonus points for the use of "malodorous".


    • #3
      My own personal comparison might have been wing cars vs "Dungeons and Dragons".