Excerpts from the Near Side

[War Eagle River]

Lets see some popular, not so popular sayings, but with your own twist! Keep it clean and non-political Gents!

I’ll start with one that some of you have already seen.

The one with the most toys in the end wins!
Not true...the one with the most laps wins!

[CatRacer]

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving probably isn't for you.

[War Eagle River]

Haha

[Billy boy]

awesome.

[4424ever]

Just cuz you’re heads pointed don’t mean you’re sharp !

[War Eagle River]

Thats a good one!

[SpeedyNH]

when i was a kid it was,
"Look Sharp- Feel Sharp- Be Sharp! File your head to a point."

[4424ever]

[Hksk25]

When designing something that's completely foolproof, never underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools!

Harry

[Mickey thumbs]

“ Ruth is stranger than friction”
Eva Gabor on Green Acres tv show

[Dogsbody]

Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.

Douglas Bader.

[4424ever]

Well they didn’t say you couldn’t!

[Gascarnut]

If at first you don't succeed, try reading the instructions.

Everyone brings joy to my life, some on the way in, some on the way out.

Do you have water in the brain? Try a tap on the head.

[Fathead59]

You can always tell if a person is a butt hole , just by the way their lips pucker .

[Billy boy]

heh heh heh

[dge467]

He who inherits from the person with the most toys wins!

[War Eagle River]

Haha, very true!

[Rastas]

Remember I'm an Aussie,

Strange breed of cattle.

A stubby short of a six pack.

[docdoom]

A Duck Hunter is out hunting. he has been in his blind all day and has not seen or heard any ducks all day. all of a sudden here come a flock of ducks flying over his head. so he takes aim and BANG he shoots one out of the sky. he watches it fall from the sky and hit a farm house roof and land dead in the front yard. so works way out of the blind, heads up to the farm and jumps over the fence to get his duck. just then these rather large and well built farmer steps out of his house and ask the hunter what he thinks he is doing. well Im getting that duck I shot. no the farmer says that my duck it hit my farm house and is in my yard so that makes it my duck... hunters say no I shot that duck it is mine.. farmer ask here is he from?and does he know any thing about Property rights. well the hunters says the big city and no not really. well the farmer says we can settle these country style. hunter asks what is that. well that's were we take turns kicking each other in the balls and who ever does not give up can keep the duck. hunter goes eeeeeeeeeeeee im not to sure about that, bit I have been out here all day and sure hate to go home empty handed, so sure lets do country style then. farmer say ok but I get to go 1st. all right? so the farmes revs up and kicks the hunter has hard as he can. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn the hunter drops to the ground in pain and rolls on the ground for what seamed like 30min. finally he gets up brushes his self off and says man that really did hurt and says ok my turn. farms says back never mind, you can keep the duck!!!!!!

[REL13]

How about, No matter where I go, There I am.

[Gipper]

You are 1 in a million....which means there are 7000 more just like you!