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‘Eliminator’ Scrooge was a tight-fisted, mean-hearted, cheating old slothead. He was strutting out of the Slotworld Racing Center with the arrogant saunter of a competitor who had swept all before him. No glance spared he for the poor and unfortunate who scampered out of his path. Which is why he crashed headlong into the shopping cart of a bent and solitary figure, wrapped in dirty rags, who had not yielded him way.
“Street person!”, he shrieked in anger, “Out of my way!”
“Do you not know who I was?”, asked the shrouded form, who, though bowed low with age and misfortune, yielded not an inch.
“Who are you... who WERE you then?”, yelled Scrooge, his anger not diminished a jot.
“You once knew me as Oscar Koveleski -- the godhead of all things model car.”
“Oscar!”, replied Scrooge in alarm and wonder. “Bah, humbug! You can’t be Oscar Koveleski! Out of my way you displaced person!”
“You don’t believe in me? Then look in my cart! Here are five AMT 3-in-1 model kits, mint in box. Here are fifteen Auto World Autocutters, brand new, never used. Here are a whole CASE of Aurora Dodge Charger Thunderjets, colored orange. And here is my lifetime membership certificate in the Polish Racing Drivers of America!“
“Stop, displaced person, stop!”, Scrooge cried in terror, “I believe! I believe! Tell me, O Great Oscar, why have you come to me?”
“I come to warn you Scrooge. If you do not turn from the path you now tread, you shall become even as I am, doomed to walk the streets and retail malls of this world, pushing a shopping cart laden with the barest leavings of former glory.”
“But I DOMINATE!”, said Scrooge. “I am untouchable in every class I race in! And my collection is the best in the world! I have EVERYTHING Aurora ever made!”
“Oh man”, said the twisted figure, “do you know how vain and empty those things will be to you in just a little while? You must think of more than yourself if you are to escape my fate!”
“No, I do not see the sense in that”, said Scrooge. “I pity you Oscar, but leave me be. Don’t you have a tin cup or something? I’ve got some loose change...”
“Wretch!”, cried the rag-swathed figure, suddenly drawing itself up to nearly Scrooge’s own height, “Without my help you have no hope! You shall be visited by three displaced persons! Expect the first when you get to 5th and Main! Abide them, pay them heed, or you shall be lost forever! Look to see me no more!”
And with that Oscar left him. In an instant he and his shopping cart disappeared in the crowd, as if they had never been.
“It’s, it’s humbug,” Scrooge said haltingly. Then with more conviction, “Humbug! An old bundle of rags claiming to be Oscar Koveleski -- no, it cannot be. Still, he did have that case of orange Chargers... Damn! I should have asked what he wanted for them! Too late. He’s gone now...” And shaking his head, as if to clear it of unpleasant memories, Scrooge walked down the sidewalk, towards home.
“Fifth and Main”, said Scrooge as he looked about him. Nowhere did he see anything unfamiliar, anything amiss. “And no displaced person... I knew AHHH!”, he cried, startled by the sudden sight of a wizened figure that stood practically at his elbow.
“I am the displaced person of Slot Cars Past”, said the aged, white-haired apparition. “I was fortold to you, was I not? Come, touch my blanket, I will transport you to a time in your past.”
Scrooge wrinkled his nose, “Yech, your blanket is filthy! And it smells! Must I touch it?”
“You must”, the street person said evenly, but firmly.
Gingerly Scrooge fingered the tattered wrap, and instantly discovered himself indoors, in a dank, dimly-lit basement.
“Displaced person! This is my parent’s basement! This is where I worked on my cars, where I had my layout! Who... who is that... who is that over there?”
“Can’t you tell?”, said the old man. “Look closer. Your mind does not yet believe what your eyes are seeing.”
“Why it is me! That’s me! I must be, oh, twelve years old. Certainly no more... what am I doing? Stop! Oh, STOP! Don’t do that!”
“He cannot hear you, Scrooge. Nor see you. We are phantoms here.”
“Oh but displaced person, see what he is doing! That is a brand new orange Dodge Charger! And he is going to cut the wheel wells on it! Oh no! The knife! Oh I can’t look! Oh no, oh no. I couldn’t have, I couldn’t have!”
“You were young”, said the old man, kindly, “you wanted to put slicks on the car. You did that to all your cars...”
“No, oh no”, wailed Scrooge, “oh how could I have been so stupid, so utterly, utterly stupid. Spare me displaced person! Take me back, leave me! I don’t want to see any more!”
“There is more you must see, if you are to be saved. Touch my blanket, we go to another time.”
“What place is this?” Scrooge looked around him. Another basement, but well lit. Before him a four-lane layout of lock-and-joiner plastic track. Suddenly joyful yells and shouts reached his ears. A flock of exuberant youngsters pounded down the basement stairs and swarmed about the track.
“Why that’s Carl!”, cried Scrooge, “Carl Dreher! And Billy Frankenfield! And Ed Bianchi! My old racing buddies! Oh look how young we all are! And see, displaced person, see how happy and enthusiastic and joyous we are! These are happy times, displaced person, thank you for showing me this!”
“Watch, Scrooge, watch. I did not bring you here without a purpose.”
And Scrooge watched. And he almost burst with pride, for his young self was in top form, dusting the competition. Indeed, his car fairly flew around the track. None of the others could keep pace with him.
Suddenly, as if by silent agreement, the other cars stopped. “You’ve done something to your car”, accused a young voice. “I want to take a look at it.”
“No!”, cried the young Scrooge. “I won’t let you!” But he grabbed for the car too late.
“What is this underneath the car? It looks like, it looks like a magnet, like from out of a pot-holder.”
“That’s what it is”, young Scrooge said sullenly. “It holds the back of the car down.”
“No fair! There’s nothing in the rules allowing this!”
“And there’s nothing in the rules against it either!”, young Scrooge said defiantly. “So I can use a magnet if I want to. It’s perfectly fair!”
“Well I’m not going to race against you! What’s the point? I haven’t a fair chance, and I’m not going to run just so you can beat me!”
“Me neither! Me neither!”, cried the others. After a brief, stony silence they all gathered up their cars and left.
“Displaced person!”, cried Scrooge, “Call them back! I can take the magnet out of my car! They don’t have to leave mad at me! They can still have fun! Oh stop them displaced person, please call them back!”
“I cannot”, said the DP sadly, “and neither can you. This is done. This is all long past. Touch my blanket, there is more you must see.”
“This is a show”, Scrooge said.
“Yes”, the displaced person agreed, “Many years have passed. Do you see your former self?”
“There I am. I have a table. I must be in my thirties, by the look of me. Who is that I am dickering with?”
“We can see, Scrooge. And hear. Let us draw nearer. They will not notice us.”
And though Scrooge stood practically at his own elbow -- that of his younger self -- he was not noticed in the slightest. “That’s Vic Trayder! I know him well displaced person!” Scrooge listened intently to the conversation; peered closely at the goods being discussed.
“So”, said the younger Scrooge, “Isn’t this a fine piece? Certainly this is the Batmobile you’ve wanted for your collection. Look how the figures are painted, the detail! And do you notice how the rear wheel wells have been slightly enlarged? The real Batmobile had racing slicks, and this car has been fitted with them too! A fine collectors’ piece.”
“It is beautiful -- I’m afraid to ask you the price.”
The young Scrooge smiled, “I have another buyer who will give me $250 for it, but I know you’ve wanted this car. Give me $200 -- just don’t tell anyone I let you have it at that price.”
The buyer’s face fell, “I can’t afford that much. I’m behind on my rent as it is. Will you take a check?”
“Cash only. ESPECIALLY if you are behind on your rent.”
“I just don’t have that much right now. Damn I want that car! Will you take a deposit and hold it for me?”
Scrooge shook his head, “I told you, I have another buyer. Look, let me see what’s in your box. Maybe there is something I want.” The box was proffered; Scrooge opened it. His eyes scanned quickly, his expression edged microscopically downward in disapproval. “There isn’t much here. I’ll give you $50 for the lot.”
The buyer’s disappointment was palpable, “I’d need $100.”
“Right”, said Scrooge, “Look, I’ll give you $75 for the box. Give me $100 cash and owe me the $25.”
The deal was done. But as the buyer retreated with his prize Scrooge’s face underwent a slow transformation. It started with his mouth. A smile was born, a smile which broadened into a grin, his eyes flashed with glee, his eyebrows arched high. All his visage became a picture of wicked merriment. Soon a chortle escaped his lips. A chortle that grew to a full-blown belly-laugh.
“You have cheated that poor man -- don’t deny it!”, accused the displaced person.
“Yes, I have!”, replied the elder Scrooge, “I screwed, blued and tatooed him! The car I sold him wasn’t worth a tenth of the price I got for it, and every car I got in return was worth at least as much, or more! One was worth $150. I made money like a bandit on that deal, I’ll never forget it!”
“You are not ashamed at how you abused the trust of that poor man?”
“Not at all!”, gloried Scrooge, “I did him a favor! He eventually found out I had taken him, but he learned valuable lessons in return! Ones he will never forget! He learned to get his own facts -- to know what he is buying and what he is selling, and what they are worth. He also learned that a deal is a deal. He learned that lesson hard, but I made sure he learned it!”
“But you did not bargain fairly! You lied to him about another buyer. You misled him about the quality of the car. You told him the defects that made the car valueless were selling points!”
Scrooge was unrepentent, “I told him the condition of the car accurately. He chose to believe that it was worth the price I quoted. A thing is worth what someone is willing to pay for it. He paid for it willingly, even eagerly!”
“You indeed have much to learn Scrooge”, said the displaced person of Slot Cars Past. Disapproval was evident in its entire being. “My time with you is drawing to an end, and I’m not sorry. Come, touch my blanket one more time.”
“Yech”, said Scrooge, and suddenly found himself on the corner of 5th and Main.
Nor was he alone. Before him stood a youth, with bad complexion, scraggly hair, and a baseball cap turned backward on his head. “I am the displaced person of Slot Cars Present!”, the apparition said with a smile full of bad teeth, “I bet you’re Scrooge. Do they really call you ‘Eliminator’?”
“Yes, they do”, admitted Scrooge, “well, what do I do? You’re not wearing a blanket.”
“You can, y’know, take my hand.”
“I’d rather touch a blanket, to be honest”, but Scrooge complied.
“Oh displaced person of Slot Cars Present!”, Scrooge exclaimed in terror, “We are flying! Don’t let go my hand or I shall surely fall to my death!”
“You weren’t, y’know, hot to hold my hand a moment ago.”
“Forgive me! Forgive me! Only don’t let me fall! Wait, where are we?”, Scrooge looked around in wonderment. “Why, we are back inside Slotworld! Look, there are two of the guys I just blew off in the main! That’s... uh, Bob Scratchit, the tall guy. The shorter, younger guy is, um, Little Tim, I think.”
The face of the displaced person of Slot Cars Present broadened into a grin. Apparently he had had an idea, and the novel experience tickled him, “Hey, let’s listen in, they can’t see us, y’know. We’re, y’know, indivisible, y’know?”
“Uh, yeah, so I gather”, and Scrooge edged nearer to the pair of beaten competitors.
Bob Scratchit said, “Well, I don’t know. I probably should get a new chassis, and if I wanted to have a real chance, a new armature and magnets too. Comes to that, my tires won’t go more than another session. What’s left? I’m in for another car, and I can’t afford it right now. And there’s no guarantee I’ll be anything more than mid-pack.”
Little Tim said, “Could I buy your old car off you? It’s better than I have. What would you want for it?”
“More than you can probably afford. You were lucky to qualify for the main. You’ve got talent, kid. If you could get a decent car together you could do well.”
“I got my car from a guy who decided to get out of racing”, said Little Tim, “he sold it to me cheap.”
“Yeah, I know who you got it off of. He used to build good cars. If he sold it to you cheap he was making you a gift. It takes money to be competitive, and time. I’m getting short of both.”
“Would you sell me the car? Tell me what you’d want.”
“Look, kid, I’ll be straight with you. If you are really, really good, you could get a fifth place with that car. Not any better, and that’s this week. Next week, who knows? It takes money, kid. Money I ain’t got, and money you ain’t got either.”
“Fifth? No better than fifth?”
“I’m telling you straight kid.”
“Hell, I want to win!”
“Yeah, me too kid. I’ve been at it a long time. Winning is tough. Some guys win all the time, like ‘Eliminator’. Me, I’ve won twice. Twice in all the time I’ve been racing. That’s not much to show for a lot of money and a lot of effort.”
“Twice?”, said Little Tim, “In how many years?”
“Oh I dunno. Ten or twelve.”
“Geez”, the kid looked down, then looked up again, sideways, “Fifth you say?”
“If you could afford it, and you can’t.”
“Geez”, Little Tim shook his head, “Geez.”
The displaced person of Slot Cars Present looked at Scrooge, “Well, hey, whatdaya think? Think those guys will be back?”
Scrooge looked melancholy, he too shook his head, “No, I don’t think so. At least not much longer. It’s sad. Scratchit is a decent competitor. He’s always in the main, he just never has enough to run at the front.”
“It’s sadder about the kid, y’know. He would be a champion if he gets a break, and stays with it. But he won’t, y’know.”
“He won’t? He’d be a champion?”
“Yeah, Scrooge, a champion. But it won’t happen...”
“But displaced person, surely there is something you can do! Come, young talent like that can’t be wasted!”
“Humbug, Scrooge, like you, y’know, say. Talent like that gets wasted all the time! And who wastes it? Who Scrooge? Who wastes it?”
Scrooge’s face visibly sagged as horrible truth struck home. He looked down at the floor, “Take me back, displaced person, take me back. I think, I think there is something I can do... I think there is something I MUST do...”
“Not yet Scrooge old dude, we’ve got flying to do! Hold on...”
“NOOOOOO!”, yelled Scrooge as they soared out of Slot World, into the open sky.
“Oh displaced person”, gasped Scrooge, “if you do that to me again I shall need a change of underwear.”
“Chill, oldster. Look where we are now.”
“Trader Vic’s! This is Vic Trayder’s shop!”, cried Scrooge.
“What’s the matter Scrooge? You, y’know, don’t look so good.”
“Ah, it’s nothing. Nice shop. I should come back sometime. Well, where do we go next?”
“We just, y’know, got here. You getting to, y’know, like flying?”
“NO! DON’T TOUCH ME!”, wailed Scrooge, cringing in fright. Looking around frantically, like a trapped animal Scrooge talked desperately, “Ah, Vic is talking to a customer, I want to listen in, OK? Yeah, I feel like listening in, maybe for a long time!”
“That’s cool by me!”
Scrooge and the displaced person took up positions by Vic and his customer. Scrooge actually stood right next to Vic, leaning on the counter, but neither Vic nor his customer showed the slightest perception of his presence.
“I’ve had this piece for quite a few years. I don’t display it”, said Vic, “because I don’t want to sell it to just anybody. I’m a little sentimental about it. It was one of my first big buys. I wanted it to go to someone special, someone who would appreciate its finer points. Look, see how the figures are painted? Look at the detail! Go ahead, pick it up! Take a close look!”
“Yes, it’s a careful job of detailing!”, Vic’s customer opined.
“And see how the wheel wells are slightly enlarged? Just big enough to take the slicks -- the prototype was equipped with racing slicks, remember?”
“Yes, you’re right. I’m interested Vic, what do you want for it?”
“Well, I paid $450 for that, but that was a number of years ago. Yes, $450! You, don’t find a piece like that everyday! But, I’ll let you have it for, oh, $500. I know someone who would give me $600 for it, and think he got a bargain, but look, I know you appreciate this piece. I can’t stand the thought of it just being put in a box where no one will see it. I know you’ll display it. Give me $500 and the Batmobile is yours.”
“Displaced person!”, howled Scrooge in utter dismay, “Let us be gone!”
“Vic’ll, y’know, make quite a haul on this sale, won’t he Scrooge? More than you made -- jealous?
”NO! Disgusted, heartsick, outraged! That cheating, lying, swindler!”
“He learned his lessons well, didn’t he Scrooge? He paid a lot for them, but, y’know, I guess he’s made his money back over the years. Y’know I bet he’s grateful to you. You could be good friends. Even, y’know, best friends. Everyone should have friends Scrooge, y’know?”, the displaced person said with a smile.
“No, no, no. Oh no!”, Scrooge shook his head in his hands.
“So what’s the matter Scrooge? Does it disturb you to see others turn your vicious little prank into a way of doing business? Do you finally see that others may imitate you, adopt your methods for their own, and turn the market into a killing field for the trusting and the naive? What will that lead to Scrooge? Think, what will that lead to?”
“Displaced person of Slot Cars Present, do not say that this is my doing! Maybe I cheated Vic, but that does not mean I made him into what he is!”
“No, Scrooge, you did not make him what he is. He started with the inclination to evil, and you were just one person, one critical person, who helped him down that path. Many better people have been cheated by you. What happened to them? Shall we go see?”
“NO, NO, NO! Oh have pity displaced person! I have learned that my sins may influence others to evil, and that evil I helped spawn may return to me! I have learned this lesson, I feel it keenly in my heart! Spare me more suffering!”
“Well, y’know, time’s about up anyway, let’s...”
“Oh thank you displaced person, thank you. But please, PLEASE, can we take a cab?”
“Kewl! A cab! Hey, that would be neat!”, said the displaced person of Slot Cars Present.
“Street person!”, he shrieked in anger, “Out of my way!”
“Do you not know who I was?”, asked the shrouded form, who, though bowed low with age and misfortune, yielded not an inch.
“Who are you... who WERE you then?”, yelled Scrooge, his anger not diminished a jot.
“You once knew me as Oscar Koveleski -- the godhead of all things model car.”
“Oscar!”, replied Scrooge in alarm and wonder. “Bah, humbug! You can’t be Oscar Koveleski! Out of my way you displaced person!”
“You don’t believe in me? Then look in my cart! Here are five AMT 3-in-1 model kits, mint in box. Here are fifteen Auto World Autocutters, brand new, never used. Here are a whole CASE of Aurora Dodge Charger Thunderjets, colored orange. And here is my lifetime membership certificate in the Polish Racing Drivers of America!“
“Stop, displaced person, stop!”, Scrooge cried in terror, “I believe! I believe! Tell me, O Great Oscar, why have you come to me?”
“I come to warn you Scrooge. If you do not turn from the path you now tread, you shall become even as I am, doomed to walk the streets and retail malls of this world, pushing a shopping cart laden with the barest leavings of former glory.”
“But I DOMINATE!”, said Scrooge. “I am untouchable in every class I race in! And my collection is the best in the world! I have EVERYTHING Aurora ever made!”
“Oh man”, said the twisted figure, “do you know how vain and empty those things will be to you in just a little while? You must think of more than yourself if you are to escape my fate!”
“No, I do not see the sense in that”, said Scrooge. “I pity you Oscar, but leave me be. Don’t you have a tin cup or something? I’ve got some loose change...”
“Wretch!”, cried the rag-swathed figure, suddenly drawing itself up to nearly Scrooge’s own height, “Without my help you have no hope! You shall be visited by three displaced persons! Expect the first when you get to 5th and Main! Abide them, pay them heed, or you shall be lost forever! Look to see me no more!”
And with that Oscar left him. In an instant he and his shopping cart disappeared in the crowd, as if they had never been.
“It’s, it’s humbug,” Scrooge said haltingly. Then with more conviction, “Humbug! An old bundle of rags claiming to be Oscar Koveleski -- no, it cannot be. Still, he did have that case of orange Chargers... Damn! I should have asked what he wanted for them! Too late. He’s gone now...” And shaking his head, as if to clear it of unpleasant memories, Scrooge walked down the sidewalk, towards home.
“Fifth and Main”, said Scrooge as he looked about him. Nowhere did he see anything unfamiliar, anything amiss. “And no displaced person... I knew AHHH!”, he cried, startled by the sudden sight of a wizened figure that stood practically at his elbow.
“I am the displaced person of Slot Cars Past”, said the aged, white-haired apparition. “I was fortold to you, was I not? Come, touch my blanket, I will transport you to a time in your past.”
Scrooge wrinkled his nose, “Yech, your blanket is filthy! And it smells! Must I touch it?”
“You must”, the street person said evenly, but firmly.
Gingerly Scrooge fingered the tattered wrap, and instantly discovered himself indoors, in a dank, dimly-lit basement.
“Displaced person! This is my parent’s basement! This is where I worked on my cars, where I had my layout! Who... who is that... who is that over there?”
“Can’t you tell?”, said the old man. “Look closer. Your mind does not yet believe what your eyes are seeing.”
“Why it is me! That’s me! I must be, oh, twelve years old. Certainly no more... what am I doing? Stop! Oh, STOP! Don’t do that!”
“He cannot hear you, Scrooge. Nor see you. We are phantoms here.”
“Oh but displaced person, see what he is doing! That is a brand new orange Dodge Charger! And he is going to cut the wheel wells on it! Oh no! The knife! Oh I can’t look! Oh no, oh no. I couldn’t have, I couldn’t have!”
“You were young”, said the old man, kindly, “you wanted to put slicks on the car. You did that to all your cars...”
“No, oh no”, wailed Scrooge, “oh how could I have been so stupid, so utterly, utterly stupid. Spare me displaced person! Take me back, leave me! I don’t want to see any more!”
“There is more you must see, if you are to be saved. Touch my blanket, we go to another time.”
“What place is this?” Scrooge looked around him. Another basement, but well lit. Before him a four-lane layout of lock-and-joiner plastic track. Suddenly joyful yells and shouts reached his ears. A flock of exuberant youngsters pounded down the basement stairs and swarmed about the track.
“Why that’s Carl!”, cried Scrooge, “Carl Dreher! And Billy Frankenfield! And Ed Bianchi! My old racing buddies! Oh look how young we all are! And see, displaced person, see how happy and enthusiastic and joyous we are! These are happy times, displaced person, thank you for showing me this!”
“Watch, Scrooge, watch. I did not bring you here without a purpose.”
And Scrooge watched. And he almost burst with pride, for his young self was in top form, dusting the competition. Indeed, his car fairly flew around the track. None of the others could keep pace with him.
Suddenly, as if by silent agreement, the other cars stopped. “You’ve done something to your car”, accused a young voice. “I want to take a look at it.”
“No!”, cried the young Scrooge. “I won’t let you!” But he grabbed for the car too late.
“What is this underneath the car? It looks like, it looks like a magnet, like from out of a pot-holder.”
“That’s what it is”, young Scrooge said sullenly. “It holds the back of the car down.”
“No fair! There’s nothing in the rules allowing this!”
“And there’s nothing in the rules against it either!”, young Scrooge said defiantly. “So I can use a magnet if I want to. It’s perfectly fair!”
“Well I’m not going to race against you! What’s the point? I haven’t a fair chance, and I’m not going to run just so you can beat me!”
“Me neither! Me neither!”, cried the others. After a brief, stony silence they all gathered up their cars and left.
“Displaced person!”, cried Scrooge, “Call them back! I can take the magnet out of my car! They don’t have to leave mad at me! They can still have fun! Oh stop them displaced person, please call them back!”
“I cannot”, said the DP sadly, “and neither can you. This is done. This is all long past. Touch my blanket, there is more you must see.”
“This is a show”, Scrooge said.
“Yes”, the displaced person agreed, “Many years have passed. Do you see your former self?”
“There I am. I have a table. I must be in my thirties, by the look of me. Who is that I am dickering with?”
“We can see, Scrooge. And hear. Let us draw nearer. They will not notice us.”
And though Scrooge stood practically at his own elbow -- that of his younger self -- he was not noticed in the slightest. “That’s Vic Trayder! I know him well displaced person!” Scrooge listened intently to the conversation; peered closely at the goods being discussed.
“So”, said the younger Scrooge, “Isn’t this a fine piece? Certainly this is the Batmobile you’ve wanted for your collection. Look how the figures are painted, the detail! And do you notice how the rear wheel wells have been slightly enlarged? The real Batmobile had racing slicks, and this car has been fitted with them too! A fine collectors’ piece.”
“It is beautiful -- I’m afraid to ask you the price.”
The young Scrooge smiled, “I have another buyer who will give me $250 for it, but I know you’ve wanted this car. Give me $200 -- just don’t tell anyone I let you have it at that price.”
The buyer’s face fell, “I can’t afford that much. I’m behind on my rent as it is. Will you take a check?”
“Cash only. ESPECIALLY if you are behind on your rent.”
“I just don’t have that much right now. Damn I want that car! Will you take a deposit and hold it for me?”
Scrooge shook his head, “I told you, I have another buyer. Look, let me see what’s in your box. Maybe there is something I want.” The box was proffered; Scrooge opened it. His eyes scanned quickly, his expression edged microscopically downward in disapproval. “There isn’t much here. I’ll give you $50 for the lot.”
The buyer’s disappointment was palpable, “I’d need $100.”
“Right”, said Scrooge, “Look, I’ll give you $75 for the box. Give me $100 cash and owe me the $25.”
The deal was done. But as the buyer retreated with his prize Scrooge’s face underwent a slow transformation. It started with his mouth. A smile was born, a smile which broadened into a grin, his eyes flashed with glee, his eyebrows arched high. All his visage became a picture of wicked merriment. Soon a chortle escaped his lips. A chortle that grew to a full-blown belly-laugh.
“You have cheated that poor man -- don’t deny it!”, accused the displaced person.
“Yes, I have!”, replied the elder Scrooge, “I screwed, blued and tatooed him! The car I sold him wasn’t worth a tenth of the price I got for it, and every car I got in return was worth at least as much, or more! One was worth $150. I made money like a bandit on that deal, I’ll never forget it!”
“You are not ashamed at how you abused the trust of that poor man?”
“Not at all!”, gloried Scrooge, “I did him a favor! He eventually found out I had taken him, but he learned valuable lessons in return! Ones he will never forget! He learned to get his own facts -- to know what he is buying and what he is selling, and what they are worth. He also learned that a deal is a deal. He learned that lesson hard, but I made sure he learned it!”
“But you did not bargain fairly! You lied to him about another buyer. You misled him about the quality of the car. You told him the defects that made the car valueless were selling points!”
Scrooge was unrepentent, “I told him the condition of the car accurately. He chose to believe that it was worth the price I quoted. A thing is worth what someone is willing to pay for it. He paid for it willingly, even eagerly!”
“You indeed have much to learn Scrooge”, said the displaced person of Slot Cars Past. Disapproval was evident in its entire being. “My time with you is drawing to an end, and I’m not sorry. Come, touch my blanket one more time.”
“Yech”, said Scrooge, and suddenly found himself on the corner of 5th and Main.
Nor was he alone. Before him stood a youth, with bad complexion, scraggly hair, and a baseball cap turned backward on his head. “I am the displaced person of Slot Cars Present!”, the apparition said with a smile full of bad teeth, “I bet you’re Scrooge. Do they really call you ‘Eliminator’?”
“Yes, they do”, admitted Scrooge, “well, what do I do? You’re not wearing a blanket.”
“You can, y’know, take my hand.”
“I’d rather touch a blanket, to be honest”, but Scrooge complied.
“Oh displaced person of Slot Cars Present!”, Scrooge exclaimed in terror, “We are flying! Don’t let go my hand or I shall surely fall to my death!”
“You weren’t, y’know, hot to hold my hand a moment ago.”
“Forgive me! Forgive me! Only don’t let me fall! Wait, where are we?”, Scrooge looked around in wonderment. “Why, we are back inside Slotworld! Look, there are two of the guys I just blew off in the main! That’s... uh, Bob Scratchit, the tall guy. The shorter, younger guy is, um, Little Tim, I think.”
The face of the displaced person of Slot Cars Present broadened into a grin. Apparently he had had an idea, and the novel experience tickled him, “Hey, let’s listen in, they can’t see us, y’know. We’re, y’know, indivisible, y’know?”
“Uh, yeah, so I gather”, and Scrooge edged nearer to the pair of beaten competitors.
Bob Scratchit said, “Well, I don’t know. I probably should get a new chassis, and if I wanted to have a real chance, a new armature and magnets too. Comes to that, my tires won’t go more than another session. What’s left? I’m in for another car, and I can’t afford it right now. And there’s no guarantee I’ll be anything more than mid-pack.”
Little Tim said, “Could I buy your old car off you? It’s better than I have. What would you want for it?”
“More than you can probably afford. You were lucky to qualify for the main. You’ve got talent, kid. If you could get a decent car together you could do well.”
“I got my car from a guy who decided to get out of racing”, said Little Tim, “he sold it to me cheap.”
“Yeah, I know who you got it off of. He used to build good cars. If he sold it to you cheap he was making you a gift. It takes money to be competitive, and time. I’m getting short of both.”
“Would you sell me the car? Tell me what you’d want.”
“Look, kid, I’ll be straight with you. If you are really, really good, you could get a fifth place with that car. Not any better, and that’s this week. Next week, who knows? It takes money, kid. Money I ain’t got, and money you ain’t got either.”
“Fifth? No better than fifth?”
“I’m telling you straight kid.”
“Hell, I want to win!”
“Yeah, me too kid. I’ve been at it a long time. Winning is tough. Some guys win all the time, like ‘Eliminator’. Me, I’ve won twice. Twice in all the time I’ve been racing. That’s not much to show for a lot of money and a lot of effort.”
“Twice?”, said Little Tim, “In how many years?”
“Oh I dunno. Ten or twelve.”
“Geez”, the kid looked down, then looked up again, sideways, “Fifth you say?”
“If you could afford it, and you can’t.”
“Geez”, Little Tim shook his head, “Geez.”
The displaced person of Slot Cars Present looked at Scrooge, “Well, hey, whatdaya think? Think those guys will be back?”
Scrooge looked melancholy, he too shook his head, “No, I don’t think so. At least not much longer. It’s sad. Scratchit is a decent competitor. He’s always in the main, he just never has enough to run at the front.”
“It’s sadder about the kid, y’know. He would be a champion if he gets a break, and stays with it. But he won’t, y’know.”
“He won’t? He’d be a champion?”
“Yeah, Scrooge, a champion. But it won’t happen...”
“But displaced person, surely there is something you can do! Come, young talent like that can’t be wasted!”
“Humbug, Scrooge, like you, y’know, say. Talent like that gets wasted all the time! And who wastes it? Who Scrooge? Who wastes it?”
Scrooge’s face visibly sagged as horrible truth struck home. He looked down at the floor, “Take me back, displaced person, take me back. I think, I think there is something I can do... I think there is something I MUST do...”
“Not yet Scrooge old dude, we’ve got flying to do! Hold on...”
“NOOOOOO!”, yelled Scrooge as they soared out of Slot World, into the open sky.
“Oh displaced person”, gasped Scrooge, “if you do that to me again I shall need a change of underwear.”
“Chill, oldster. Look where we are now.”
“Trader Vic’s! This is Vic Trayder’s shop!”, cried Scrooge.
“What’s the matter Scrooge? You, y’know, don’t look so good.”
“Ah, it’s nothing. Nice shop. I should come back sometime. Well, where do we go next?”
“We just, y’know, got here. You getting to, y’know, like flying?”
“NO! DON’T TOUCH ME!”, wailed Scrooge, cringing in fright. Looking around frantically, like a trapped animal Scrooge talked desperately, “Ah, Vic is talking to a customer, I want to listen in, OK? Yeah, I feel like listening in, maybe for a long time!”
“That’s cool by me!”
Scrooge and the displaced person took up positions by Vic and his customer. Scrooge actually stood right next to Vic, leaning on the counter, but neither Vic nor his customer showed the slightest perception of his presence.
“I’ve had this piece for quite a few years. I don’t display it”, said Vic, “because I don’t want to sell it to just anybody. I’m a little sentimental about it. It was one of my first big buys. I wanted it to go to someone special, someone who would appreciate its finer points. Look, see how the figures are painted? Look at the detail! Go ahead, pick it up! Take a close look!”
“Yes, it’s a careful job of detailing!”, Vic’s customer opined.
“And see how the wheel wells are slightly enlarged? Just big enough to take the slicks -- the prototype was equipped with racing slicks, remember?”
“Yes, you’re right. I’m interested Vic, what do you want for it?”
“Well, I paid $450 for that, but that was a number of years ago. Yes, $450! You, don’t find a piece like that everyday! But, I’ll let you have it for, oh, $500. I know someone who would give me $600 for it, and think he got a bargain, but look, I know you appreciate this piece. I can’t stand the thought of it just being put in a box where no one will see it. I know you’ll display it. Give me $500 and the Batmobile is yours.”
“Displaced person!”, howled Scrooge in utter dismay, “Let us be gone!”
“Vic’ll, y’know, make quite a haul on this sale, won’t he Scrooge? More than you made -- jealous?
”NO! Disgusted, heartsick, outraged! That cheating, lying, swindler!”
“He learned his lessons well, didn’t he Scrooge? He paid a lot for them, but, y’know, I guess he’s made his money back over the years. Y’know I bet he’s grateful to you. You could be good friends. Even, y’know, best friends. Everyone should have friends Scrooge, y’know?”, the displaced person said with a smile.
“No, no, no. Oh no!”, Scrooge shook his head in his hands.
“So what’s the matter Scrooge? Does it disturb you to see others turn your vicious little prank into a way of doing business? Do you finally see that others may imitate you, adopt your methods for their own, and turn the market into a killing field for the trusting and the naive? What will that lead to Scrooge? Think, what will that lead to?”
“Displaced person of Slot Cars Present, do not say that this is my doing! Maybe I cheated Vic, but that does not mean I made him into what he is!”
“No, Scrooge, you did not make him what he is. He started with the inclination to evil, and you were just one person, one critical person, who helped him down that path. Many better people have been cheated by you. What happened to them? Shall we go see?”
“NO, NO, NO! Oh have pity displaced person! I have learned that my sins may influence others to evil, and that evil I helped spawn may return to me! I have learned this lesson, I feel it keenly in my heart! Spare me more suffering!”
“Well, y’know, time’s about up anyway, let’s...”
“Oh thank you displaced person, thank you. But please, PLEASE, can we take a cab?”
“Kewl! A cab! Hey, that would be neat!”, said the displaced person of Slot Cars Present.
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